Hello friends! I have been working on getting the So You’re Dating a Spaniard series up and running again, and while I wait for the responses to trickle in, I thought it would be fun to finally answer my OWN questions about what it’s like to date a Spaniard. People have been asking for it, so here it is! If you have more questions, feel free to leave a comment.
If YOU or anyone you know may be interested in participating in this series, please let me know! I am down to my last few participants! All cultures welcome! By the looks of my website stats, you are all enjoying these posts so please help me keep them going!
- Please introduce yourself. What’s your name? Where are you from? How old are you? How long have you been living in Spain (if you live in Spain)? What do you do? Where do you live? What are your hobbies?
Hello! My name is Tamara. I am the writer of this blog and may be slightly insane because I am technically interviewing myself, but hey- nothing new here. I am 27 years old (this makes me cry) and I moved to Spain from Philadelphia when I was 24. I moved to teach English as an Auxiliar de Conversacion, but I don’t do that anymore and now I fill my days with a bunch of things. I teach English online through Vipkid, I give private food tours through Withlocals, and I run an online bakery where I make bagels, called Bruja’s Bakery. And I tell you all intimate details about my life here on this blog. 🙂 In my free time, I like to go for walks or runs or hikes and I am obsessed with my Fitbit. I also enjoy cooking and baking, and meeting friends for glasses of vino tinto and tapas. I get irrationally upset if I don’t get a tapa with my drink… it’s the only reason I drink! I don’t watch much tv because I have the attention span of a bird, but I do like to read- mostly memoirs and sad stories about people’s sad lives.
- Introduce your pareja (boyfriend/ girlfriend). What’s his/ her name? How old is he/she? What does he/she do? Where does he/she from?
My boyfriend’s name is Luis and we have been together for 2.5 ish years (it depends which one of us you ask haha…). He is 28 years old and he works in a private bank doing things that require a lot of brain power. He is very smart and hard working and funny and handsome and he is a nice guy, even when I am occasionally not nice to him. He is from Madrid and his family is also from Madrid. They live in Alameda de Osuna and Luis lives in Santiago Bernebeu area, near the stadium…. and no, we have never been to a game together. We are going to reconcile this!
- When and how did you two meet? Give us the details ; )
This is the typical Auxiliar story- Luis was my student. NO! Not my student in the high school where I worked, you dirty-minded people. I put an ad on tusclasesparticulares.com the first week I arrived and he contacted me within a couple days saying he needed someone to come to his office 2x per week for English classes. I figured he was some old man so I didn’t respond (I wanted to teach kids), but then he was persistent and sent me a Whatsapp (which had his photo….) and then I responded 😉 We had a couple ‘classes’ together (where we just talked, I had NO clue what I was doing hahaha…) and I told him how it was difficult to meet Spanish people and he said that I could meet his friends and well, that’s it. Fun fact: I actually skipped our first class together because after agreeing to meet, I didn’t hear anything from him and I was so nervous for the class, I just didn’t want it to happen so I just never said anything and just didn’t go! He still makes fun of me for that.
- When did you first start dating?
After those first couple of classes, I texted him one night saying I was going to this salsa club and asked if he was going out because he had told me during our class that he takes salsa classes. THAT WAS A LIE! He had taken one class hahaha.. Anyway, he met me there and then after that night in the salsa club, he asked me to dinner the next night. We went to Lateral and ordered 5 or 6 things to share and I remember not having any idea what anything was on the menu, so he had to explain what everthing was. I remember him trying to explain ‘eggplant’ in English! I would love to have been a fly on the wall during that first date because neither of us communicated very well in the other language…
I was totally wondering if he asked all of his teachers to dinner or just wanted extra practice-I was very confused. But we saw each other every weekend for many months and then “officially” started dating in March/ May of that first year. Again, it depends who you ask 😉
^Our first summer together! We went to Budapest (and Prague and Vienna)
- What do you and your pareja like to do together for fun?
Wow I am having fun answering these! I think, again, it depends who you ask. I would say that we like to go for runs, have picnics in the park, travel, go hiking, try new restaurants or recipes, have people over for dinner, make plans for Bruja’s Bakery, go to the gym together, or watch tv. If you ask him, I don’t think he would include half of those things…
^Luis hating a cooking class I made him do with me
- What’s are some of the differences you’ve noticed between dating someone from a different culture vs. someone from your own culture?
Hm, I wouldn’t say there are many huge huge differences, but I guess things move a little slower here, or are more casual. Also, he dresses nicely 😉 In the beginning I think I noticed more, especially among our eating habits and mealtimes… now I have turned him into an American eater lol
- What’s the best thing about being with your pareja?
He’s patient, and loving, and always has a positive outlook and attitude, even when I don’t. He not only supports everything that I do, but encourages me and helps me reach my goals. He is open to trying new things, and humors me when I want to do things like have a picnic in a place where lots of people can drive by and see us. He will travel, eat, and do things that I want to do, and is always up for a new adventure. And he can make a mean peanut butter and jelly- I have taught him well!
- What’s the biggest miscommunication you’ve ever had? Any really awkward moments?
Not sure about awkward moments, although there HAVE been some, but here is a miscommunication: in English, if someone says ‘let’s mean in the afternoon’, I think ‘ok, sometime between 12 and 3’. In Spanish (or a Spanish person), if someone says ‘let’s meet in the afternoon’, they mean sometime after 6:00. I think I spent a good 6 months ready between 12 and 3 for our ‘afternoon plans’ only to get incredibly annoyed that Luis ALWAYS showed up around 6 or 7. Little did I know…
Another one is that once Luis and I were planning to meet near the metro after work. He told me ‘voy a las 6’, which literally translates to ‘I go at 6’, which I then thought, ‘ok, he will leave at 6’, so at 6 he messaged me and said ‘where are you???’ and I said ‘on my way…’ and he said ‘I thought we were meeting at 6?’. Now I know that when you say ‘VOY a las ____’, it means ‘I will be there at this time’.
- What language do you speak in?
Definitely a mix of both languages. Sometimes I speak in Spanish and he responds in English, or vice versa, or both Spanish or both English. It’s safe to say both of our language skills have improved tremendously thanks to the other person.
- What is something (or a few things) you have struggled with in your relationship that is due to the fact that you’re from different places?
I can’t think of anything, but will update this if anything comes to mind.
- Has your pareja ever been to your hometown? What was that like?
Yes! Luis came with me to Philadelphia last year and then we also visited New York, Washington D.C. and Ventnor beach in New Jersey. It was his first time in the US and I loved showing him all things American! This past summer, we went to California with a couple of his friends and did a road trip!
- Have you ever met your pareja’s family? What was it like? Were you nervous?
Lol, yes I was nervous! I met them after about 6 months of dating and the longer we waited, the more nervous I got. Basically, we went to Mallorca for a weekend and when we got back, Luis’ Mom picked us up from the airport and she was really nice and bascially just chatted the whole time (I didn’t have to do much talking, which is what I was worried about because of the language barrier). In true Spanish Mom fashion, his Mom looked at me and (in Spanish) said: ‘Wow! You’re so pretty! I saw your pictures and you’re much prettier in person! Pretty in the pictures, but better in person’. *Lol awkward smile*
Now I frequently go to his house for dinner or lunch on the weekends and his family is always nice to me!
- What is your biggest pet peeve about dating someone from another culture? (Don’t worry, we all have them!)
UGH I know I have them but seriously can’t think of any!!!
- In an ideal world, where would you both live?
What a fun question, Tamara! I love living in Madrid and truly feel ‘at home’ here, but a part of me fantasizes about going back to the US and living in a big city with Luis. So, in an ideal world, I think we would live part of the year in the US and part of the year in Spain. My current jobs are flexible and easy to do in other places, so if any banks want to give Luis a call, he is very smart 😉
- Any funny stories, cute moments, etc. that you want to tell from your relationship? Just to give us a peek into your day-to-day life!
I wish I could think of something right now…. I will update, I promise!
- What is one thing your pareja really believes, but you know is not true (ie: you WILL get sick if you sleep with the air conditioner on)
There are so many…
- Don’t sleep with the air conditioner on
- Cover your nexk when it’s cold or you will get sick
- Don’t put your clothes in the dryer! Only towels
- If you are sick, you must take Frenadol
- Sleeping with your hair wet is dangerous
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