The other night I had a dream that I was trying to boil a whole bunch of bagels over a campfire, but the water wouldn’t boil and I was panicking because I had to make something like 50 bagels and I had to do it all before meeting a friend for coffee. Talk about anxiety, huh? I think this came from thinking and over-thinking about how are we going to possible boil bagels in a store WITHOUT a stove and without a bagel kettle. And also because I over-scheduled myself socially this week and have been feeling a little pressed for time. A long time ago, I realized that making social plans in the middle of the day, despite my flexible schedule, is more stressful than it is fun, but at the time of making plans, I always think it will be fine and then I end up running around like a chicken.
Anyway, things have been crazy. A little stressful and mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting. I know this is part of the process of finding a place and I know one day I will look back and read this post and think… remember how long that process was? And honestly, I will probably look back and realize that finding the right place to open Bruja’s Bakery was the least of our worries and there will be bigger fish to fry, but right now, it sure does feel difficult! I asked Luis the other night “what did we use to talk about” because lately it feels like this is all we talk about. It’s because we are excited and happy that Bruja’s Bakery has grown so much, but sheesh! It is not easy.
A week ago, we found a place that we really, really liked and in the last 10 days, we have been back 5 times. We have been there with my teacher from my restaurant management course last year as well as with an architect. We have talked about this place for hours, made plans, made Excel models, calculated numbers and minimums, and just generally started to imagine it, but I am heavily leaning towards feeling like this is not the right place for us. The place has some problems, just like every single place in Madrid, but the biggest problems are the fact that the kitchen is just going to be too small for what I need. It’s easy to imagine and make plans for a place, but also to make things up like “oh well it’s small, but if we work early enough, it will be fine”… or “if we don’t use the machines at the same time, it will be ok and the power won’t blow”, but those things are what will get us into trouble. I am glad we are coming to these conclusions now, of course, but it IS emotionally draining to put time and thought and energy into places that don’t come to fruition. I told Luis that I feel like we are trying to adopt a baby or a dog and we see this available dog and we get excited and make plans and although we know the dog has mild problems, we think it will be fine and we spend a LOT of time talking about this dog/ baby and in the end it doesn’t work out or someone else adopts the dog before we do. That’s what it feels like.. you get excited and emotionally attached and start making plans and it doesn’t work out. And then you just feel like “maybe we aren’t meant to have a dog!”. But a few days pass and you start browsing the internet for a new dog because you know that deep down, you DO want a dog and you know it is the right thing.
It is disappointing to go through this cycle of finding a place, going to see it, thinking “this can work!”, going to visit it 2,3,4,5 more times, making Excel sheets, calculating numbers, etc. etc. and then it doesn’t work out for a number of reasons, but on the other hand, I am a believer that things happen the way that they should. I believe that we will find the place that will be the RIGHT place and we will look back and say “remember those other places? I am SO glad those didn’t work out!”… just getting to that point is difficult. I was reading posts from 4 years ago, when I first moved to Madrid and I was reading about my house hunt and how difficult and stressful it was, and how I was TRYING to find the right place and I kept finding places and would say THIS IS IT, but it wouldn’t work out for whatever reason. That process took time and it was emotionally draining, but when I think back now, the pain has faded in my memory and I think about where I lived for over 3 years and I think that it was perfect, and it came along when it was supposed to come along.
Anyway, here we are- back at square one. But when I think about it, it’s not really square one, because square one is when you know nothing, have seen nothing and done nothing. We have seen many, many places, we have been to the licensing agency probably almost 10 times and each time we learn new things, I have done a full 9 month course all about opening restaurants, and we continue to sell bagels every single day. So we aren’t quite at square one, but sometimes it can feel that way.
I have now realized that we need 1. a full exhaust system, 2. a pizza shop. A pizza shop will have the necessary energy potential, will have some of the correct machinery, the kitchen will be large enough, and it will have some seating.
Onward and upward.
