Dating and relationships can be tricky just about anywhere and anytime, but they can be especially tricky when yo are dating someone that is from a different culture than your own.  You may have different customs, expect different things, eat different food, and the list goes on.  Luis and I have been dating for a couple years now and (as you’ve probably guessed) he is Spanish and I am American.  At first, I noticed our cultural differences a lot more than I do now, but there our still some things that are quite different between us.  In this post, I will talk about some of the major differences I’ve noticed between Spanish and American dating culture and what it means to be dating a Spaniard, not only in my own relationship, but what I’ve learned by talking to friends and observing other people.  If you have any to add, I would love to hear from you in the comments!

1 // Spanish guys don’t offer to pay as readily as their American counterparts (even on a first date).  While this one didn’t actually apply to me, I’ve learned that it is much more common for Spanish couples to split the cost on dates, and it has less of a negative connotation.  I know in the US, us girls often assume/expect the guy will pick up the tab on the first date (whether it be a coffee or a full meal) and it can be a bit of a turn off if they don’t, but here in Spain, it’s not like that.  People often split the bill, or the guy will pay in full one time and the girl will pay in full the next.

2 // Spanish guys mature at a later age (move out, cook for themselves, clean for themselves, etc).  I think this has something to do with Americans moving away (usually) for college at 18 years old, forcing them to learn how to turn on the washing machine, boil water, buy toilet paper, etc.  Spaniards often live at home during university, so they aren’t forced to learn these things until much later- and this is normal.  (When Luis moved into his apartment, he and I were cleaning it and I told him I was going to clean the toilets and he said “you know how to do this?!”… true story.).

3 // In conjunction with #2: Spanish guys live at home a lotttttt longer than American guys (and it is normal).  Again, Spaniards don’t have the same expiration date at 18 years old that many Americans do.  Many Americans go to college at 18, come home at 22, and want to get their own place.  After 4 years of independence, who wants to live at home?  Also, American culture paints a negative picture of a 20-something still living at home (aka…you live in the basement).  In Spain, Spaniards live at home well into their 20’s or even 30’s and it’s a-ok.

4 // PDA is a lot more common and…intense…in Spain.  This goes along with #3- Since Spaniards live at home for much longer, they have a lot less privacy so they are much more open to PDA in parks, metros, street corners, school hallways, etc.

5 // If you are dating a Spaniard, you are dating their mother.  Oh my gosh, this one is HUGE.  Spanish moms don’t have the same rep as Italian moms, but they should.  Spanish moms worry about the nutritional development of their child until the child is at least 80 years old.  Luis has his own apartment with a full kitchen and a fully stocked fridge and his mother still, without fail, packs him 5 tuppers (Tupperware containers) of home-cooked food and 5 pre-wrapped turkey and cheese sandwiches for him to take to work Monday-Friday.  If Luis doesn’t go pick it up, his mom will bring it over for fear of mal-nutrition.  If I told my mom I had no food, she would most likely say “then go to the store and get some” or, if I were home, she would hand me a $20 and tell me to buy something.  #love

6 // Lunchtime on the weekends is mandatory family time.  This one took me a loooong time to get used to- I could NOT understand why Luis HAD to spend every single Saturday and Sunday lunch with his family if he was ALSO home for dinner during the week?  Every Saturday and Sunday around 2, he had to go home for lunch and I used to joke that I never saw him before nighttime.  Now, I get it- lunchtime is sacred here and something Spaniards value.  Eventually, you’ll get invited to those lunches and….

7 // Lunches are no short affair.  Spanish weekend lunches are never less than 3 hours (if they are in a restaurant).  Don’t expect to fit a lunch with the fam in in between your other plans.  The family lunch WILL take up your entire afternoon and, quite possibly, your entire evening.

8 // You won’t meet a Spaniards family until much later in the game. Maybe this was only true for me, but I didn’t meet Luis’ family until 6 months of dating.  I feel like it is MUCH earlier in the US, but also has less…significance in the US.  I was beginning to wonder if I was some big secret haha (I wasn’t).

9 // Spanish guys believe all these strange things that they’ve been taught for years and your opinion won’t change them.  The dryer will ruin your clothes; if you are sick, you need to take Frenadol or you WON’T get better; the air conditioner will definitely make you sick if it’s left on at night;  rice and pasta are lunch dishes; desserts like cake and ice cream should be eaten in the afternoon; leaving your hair wet after a shower will make you sick; wear sandals or shorts or a dress before it’s a thousand degrees will kill you, and I could go on.

10 // Both are capable of treating you with love and kindness and respect.  Both American and Spanish guys alike will treat you with love and respect- you just have to find the right ones.

Do you think I missed any?  What other differences have you noticed when dating a Spaniard?

A Spaniard in the USA 🙂